A Twist of Faith by Natalie Escobedo

A Twist of Faith is an honest and heartbreaking documentary which studies the life of Tony Comes as a victim of repeated sexual abuse from a Catholic school priest. At age 34, Tony presents himself in this documentary which explores the ways in which he, his family, and his friends are affected by his past. I watched the documentary expecting it to be like all others I have seen on 20/20, ABC movie night, and so on. However, this goes much deeper into the detail of the incidents which have scarred Tony and others, as well as the emotional turmoil going on in his relationship with his family, wife, and mother.

The detail and straightforwardness of dialogue hit me within the first 20 minutes. I didn’t expect Tony to be so honest and open with the details of the various occasions of sexual abuse. The viewer is able to see how Dennis Gray, the priest on trial for the sexual abuse, built and manipulated his way into creating a relationship with Tony and the 3 others who came forward in the documentary. In order for us to get a vivid description, Tony takes us to the cabin where Dennis Gray brought his students of Central Catholic High School to mingle and hang out. Tony’s experience with Dennis Gray was a great one at first. He took him out to eat, invited him fishing, and built a solid relationship. It was a place where he and others could go to have the freedom they wanted as young adults, such as drinking, hanging out, fishing, playing pool, and partying.

The effects on Tony were rough, which led him to report his case to the Bishop Hoffman of Toledo. However, the bishop assured Tony that there had been no other sexual abuse allegations towards Dennis Gray, however, 6 other men came out and claimed to have been molested by him. The interviews with three of the men were just as strong and heartbreaking as Tony’s, despite not being the main subject of focus throughout the documentary. The viewer is able to see three of these men, Tony, Matthew Simon, and Dennis O Loughlin come together and discuss the anger, confusion, and mutual frustration that has scarred them into adulthood.

Matthew Simon met Dennis Gray because of his personal issues and self conflict. The way he described Dennis Gray’s manipulation on him as a 14 year old boy would make anyone’s stomach turn. He was gay and scared to come out and talk to just anyone about it. Dennis’ comfort allowed him to let loose and open up to him completely. While doing so he took part in one of the weekend visits to Dennis’ cabin where he had finally been raped by him. It is sad how this incident left Matthew even more confused afterwards, leaving him to question himself with,” Is this what it’s like to be gay?” The other victim Dennis O Loughlin had been manipulated into believing the cabin to be the party atmosphere, and while spending a weekend there he got drunk and woke up with next to Gray performing on him.

The way in which these characters describe there experience at the time and there experiences up into adulthood show how much this has effected their personal lives and issues with intimacy. Although the descriptions are very rough and straight forward, there is no other way to strike the viewer other than this approach. Tony’s guilt sat with him leaving him with the self conflict of being “queer” because another man was intimate with him. It has hurt his sex life with his wife because there is a discomfort in getting close and physical in a sexual way because Dennis Gray is always in the back of his mind. It has affected certain prides and joys when raising a child, such as potty training and the fear of touching his child the wrong way. Many other documentaries fail to dive this deep into the issue and how it truly affects very personal and almost completely unrelated experiences in life.

There were a few times in the documentary that had me choking up. Many had to do with Tony describing his experiences, and then slowly watching him break down in front of the camera. A scene that felt very honest and hurtful was when he discovered Dennis Gray moved 4 houses down from him. Here you see a 34 yr old man explaining to his daughter what this priest has done, and you see him break down not only in front of the camera but also his daughter. There is discomfort and fear in his voice as if he is reliving the age of 14 again. It is a very powerful scene. He also faces conflict with his mother, which shows in confusion and disappointment with the Catholic Church. This is where I really was able to see how alone this man was in his battle to overcome such a harsh reality. It wasn’t until years later until he told his parents what had happened to him, and although it was serious, they didn’t know what and didn’t take any action. Now he sits with his mother confused as of to why she would continue to support a church that covered for the man who ruined his life. She is very straightforward and useless when it comes to supporting or understanding.

After watching this scene with his mother I couldn’t imagine putting myself in his shoes, and having nobody to turn to but other victims who are just as hurt and lost as he is. He and these other males are grown men weak and unable to function in their everyday lives. The have to deal with that and the injustice of it all is enough to break a person down completely, as well as their surrounding relationships. What he has with his wife starts out to seem compatible, but once the documentary goes on you begin to see the marriage slowly unravel. The wife, a recently converted catholic, feels as though she is obligated to talk to someone from the church. She is scared, but on top of that she deals with coping with the intimacy issues she has with Tony, attempting to recreate their sex life in ways that will distract him from the memories, protecting and helping their kids to understand, and dealing with Tony’s hatred towards the church and school their daughter now goes to. They attend counseling but that doesn’t help to heal him. He is obviously permanently scarred and it has become an everyday war that he has to face, along with his wife. Just when you think that this man’s life could not get any worse, he faces divorce. At the same time, the documentary shows that it is a real struggle for her to deal with, so it becomes a catch 22.

Like his mom, Tony’s friends believed that a 10 year cover up by the Bishop and Church does not deserve the swirl of drama and bitterness he would bring to it by going public with his allegations. As a viewer, I was able to really catch the kind of people he surrounded himself with. They, his mother, friends and community feel that one bad seed should not affect the views on the Church as a whole. Despite the cover ups by the various leaders, it was an overall good organization that should not be tainted with allegations. It’s as though he feels bound to stay within the community of his abuser and his memories because of the people in his life.

The documentary over all touched upon a number of issues that are not mentioned in these quick 20/20-like documentaries all over TV. We generally feel sorry for these victims without knowing the true depth of it all. It has been a major talked about issue the past 4 years so much that it has become as natural as hearing about a gang shooting or a car accident. This documentary, however, doesn’t hold back from the truth. Although it is hard to sit through, the victims give vivid descriptions of their experiences with sexual molestation, rape, and self conflict after it all. We learn about the things we wouldn’t normally talk about out loud, and that is how an issue like this can have a major affect on the sex life, the raising of a child, and the pain and struggle that rubs off on anyone around the victim. I was able to see firsthand how bad it was for Tony’s wife, even while many would be the first to say she has nothing to hurt about since she didn’t have to experience it. I saw the confusion it left Matthew Simon, who as a young boy had been questioning himself and his preference, but was left even more bewildered when his first experience with another man was with Dennis through force and manipulation. Finally the experience the victim Dennis Loughlin had to go through and how hard it was for him to cope with constantly questioning the motives of the women in his life and why they wanted to get intimate with him; to take advantage, for their own personal pleasure, etc.

The overall open and honesty of this film allowed the viewer to be engaged in what was going on with the various relationships shown. Even though the filmed was aimed towards the victim, it approached the issue of the church’s involvement in good taste. It was not bias, as many of the documentaries we see, it did not bad mouth, but instead it focused on the suffering and pain Tony went through. It gave facts rather than opinions on the church’s ever so nonchalant response to the issue. I watched this film with frustration, watching Tony break down, hold bitterness and resentment towards the church, but nothing happening in his favor. That is what made this a powerful peace. It showed the reality of the situation and the reality many victims have to face when going up against a well respected organization with an enormous following. Things remain hard for him, along with a failing marriage, but still he does not get a break and that is the harsh truth and unfairness with issues such as these. Without having to state it, you can clearly see the injustice when he is seen coping with the pain, betrayal, resentment and loneliness throughout the film.

~ by Kristin Scott on October 24, 2007.